You live and You Learn

One of the best things about patience and life, is that the more you live, you will learn about yourself and your friends. You will learn about everything. Sometimes, that means you will end being alone, based off of what you find.

There are times, when all you want is be around people. You just want some company. You’re not asking for much, you’re just asking for some people to understand you and appreciate you. But, that doesn’t always happen. Here’s why I’m talking about this.

See, when I was helping my Mother take care of my Grandmother, I would still call and check on people. See, I love to talk to people. I don’t like calling to talk about and gossip about people. But, I like to just check on people. If I don’t have people’s phone numbers, now thanks to social media, I can just inbox people on Facebook. I like to just check on people and I like to make that everybody’s alright. I mean, while we’re going on about our day, you never what misery somebody else might be going through.  So, I would do that as often as possible. Sometimes, while I was sitting in the room with Granny. But, what I didn’t get was, that in return. I wasn’t getting people checking on me. I mean, I wasn’t asking for much. But, I mean people can’t say that they were too busy. Because, let’s think about it. If you’re working and in the middle of the day you can get on Facebook and play Candy Crush, and how I knew that, was based upon the requests that were sent to me. And you know that everything that comes to you on Facebook has a time stamp, just like a text or a phone call on your cell phone.

So, I know that they could just as easily inbox me a message. Just to see how we were doing. Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. I have friends that knows that I wasn’t working. Someone could have said, ‘Hey Velvet, is there anything that you and your family needs or something?’ But, no one did that. Now, I am not trying to complain. I’m just saying that people really show you, their true selves when you need them the most.

That’s obvious. But, I’ve learned that there are some people that you just can’t be nice to. So, I’ll just do what I usually do, like Beyonce says, “Be my own best friend!”



Fifty Shades of Grey is not that far away!

The world has been on fire since Fifty Shades of Grey hits stores! Pretty much every woman, married or single, has been enthralled with this book! Women dream about what life would be like, if could meet their Christian Grey. Wishing they were Anastasia, utterly fascinated with the way that this man approaches a woman and his ‘take charge’ attitude. The way he keeps a woman, completely. Making her, his.

E.L. James has created one of the most wanted men in the world. And you know what’s the bad part? He’s Fictional!

Reading the book, I began to wish that I knew a Christian Grey myself. A guy with ambition and drive.  Of course, being Hot and well-dressed, doesn’t hurt either.

On Thursday, the official movie trailer release came to television. It was shown on Good morning America! (Just imagine how many viewers GMA had on Thursday, just because of the trailer!) Now, because of the bondage and the freakier stuff, the entire trailer couldn’t be aired on network TV. But, if you want to see the full trailer, it’s available on Youtube. Just type in, “Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer”. It’s a little over two minutes and it’s quite a teaser. And what is a bonus? Beyonce has created an exclusive version of one of her and one of the biggest hits ever, “Crazy in Love”, for the movie. It’s featured in the trailer.

I must say, being a good girl, innocent, seems to be even better right now. It’s give me hope. Maybe, we’ll be lucky enough to meet a Christian at some point.

But, there is another point that my Mother and her co-workers/friends have made. So many married women have been reading Fifty Shades and have been trying to get their husbands, to become more like Christian. But, Mom and her friends feel that it’s putting unrealistic expectations on Men. And I do agree with that. Even though it’s a fascinating book, it’s important to remember that it is a book! I mean, we’ve all read great books and got lost in the words. But, there’s a line. You can’t expect a Man to be like Christian. You’ve got to be responsible and don’t put unrealistic expectations on Men.

I mean, women wouldn’t like it if men wanted to force them to be Halle or Kate Upton. They know that you can’t be those women.  But, you wouldn’t wanted to be compared to them or what your man to try and form you into them. So, it should go both ways.

But, I am looking forward to the movie and I am sure that’s going to be interesting. And I just don’t know how they are going to put the love scenes together. Mom was saying this morning, there’s no way that they can put those kind of love scenes in the movie. I mean, Mom’s heard about it, but she hasn’t read the book. But, based on what her co-workers have told her, she was saying that it’s virtually impossible to put all of that out there. But, I am curious about it.

Well, February 2015, is the month that millions are really excited about. I just wonder one other thing. Where E.L. James get the inspiration for these books? If her mind can create such action, then Man oh Man! What a Mind to possess!


#Trust Issues

How many of you suffer from that? Trust issues?

You want to trust and have confidence in people. You want to be able to get out of your own way and let people in. You want people to know that it’s not them, but it’s you. And how tired of an excuse is that? The typical explanation that comes at the of almost every break up. “It’s not you, it’s me!” After a while of saying or hearing that, it gets old. Nothing’s resolved and you’re still right back at square one.

Well, for me, my trust in people has been marred since I was a little girl. I have always believed that the main people I should be able to trust, should be adults. My family here, were those kind of people. I was raised by a single mother and her parents. We moved in , when my Grandfather got sick, after my parents’ divorce. This is where I was homeschooled. They have always been the people that protected me, with everything they had. They were the people that were there for me and made sure that I felt loved and happy. So, I just always assumed that all adults were that way. Caring, Loving and Trustworthy. Boy, was I wrong!

See, I’ve never had a relationship with my Father. I mean , we couldn’t be further from each other, in all ways. I used to look like him, when I was two. But, no more. We never had a connection, I don’t even know what his favorite color is! Or if he likes sports. But, I have one vivid memory of the two of us doing something. He used to fix things, once was a supervisor of the this company and he’s done a lot with construction work. I do love to fix things and my knowledge of fixing things came from him.

But, because of him, I had a hard time trusting people. He was dishonest, (to say the absolute least) and he’s disappointed me in ways, that no one else have has. I wanted to trust and believe that he was going to come through on his word. But, 99.9999999 percent of the time, it was lie after lie. I was always crying or angry about it and over time, I just closed up. Basically because, people would be very sneaky about him. Years ago, if a person saw my Mother, Grandmother and I in the grocery store, they would talking about random things. You know, church, family, the prices of grocery, etc. But, they would never mention him. That is, until I was sent by Mom or Granny to go down an aisle, to get something.

See, for a long time, I wasn’t allowed to go down an aisle by myself. I was probably about Eight or Nine something like that, in order to get something on an aisle alone. But, I digress. If I was sent down an aisle, somehow these people who would talking to my family, would always find me. They always did and then they made a bee line to get to me. And when they did, they would be talking about him. All about they’ve seen him and they talked to him. They said, that he wanted to spend time with me and blah, blah blah. Anyway, this would make me feel uncomfortable. Because I’d thought to myself. Why didn’t these people talk about him, when they were talking to my Mom and Grandmother? Why wait until I, a little kid, got alone to talk about such a serious subject?

He would be around my family, he knows what kind of car I drive, he’s seen me, recently. The last time I saw him, I was 12. The year 2000. 26, now as of a few weeks ago.  You might be wondering why, my trust has been marred. It was just scary to me, thinking that people that I thought I trust, could be the very people that would try to “Jack me Up”. So to speak.  But, I had no idea how much it has been bothering me, until this past weekend. I was invited to go out to dinner with my friends and I was actually excited about going. I got dressed and I was on my way. But, then as I was on my way, I panicked. All of those fears came flooding back into my head. And they came hard. So much so, that I turned around and came back home. I just hated it! I hated the fact, that I allowed someone that can’t touch me or anything, continue to effect me. But, I’ve realized the only way to fix this situation, is to just break the chains and move forward.

So, I am doing that now. In fact, I’ve already made a step and I am not trying to turn back now! So, with that being said, I was wondering if there’s ever been a time, when you’ve had trust issues? How did you fix it? How do you deal with it?

Feel free to share in the comments.

#Review Mad Water by Nicholas Rossis

“Old foes and unlikely friends appear as invisible forces continue to pry humanity apart. Masks drop to reveal the ultimate truth: on Pearseus, everyone has their own agenda. And they’ll stop at nothing to achieve it.”

“He simply tells a story of corruption, people struggling as pioneers seeking to do with what they have…The measure of this book is that triumph is not a textbook description, but sense of a living struggle.”

“A cross between Game of Thrones and Dune”

“Astonishing, Thoughtful, Intriguing”

“It will be hard to put this book down long enough to eat and sleep, never mind doing responsible things like going to work and taking care of the kids.”

“WARNING! May cause loss of sleep, lowered work productivity, and missed meals”

(My personal favorite review comment!)


And these are just some of the reviews that have accompanied this book.  “Mad Water” by Nicholas C. Rossis is already a major hit!
This book is speaking to the readers, with great strength. It’s basically addictive and I must say, that type of following can turn this book into a movie! These are the types of stories that people want to read and want to get attached to.

As readers and books lovers, we all want those stories that we can sink our teeth into. Those types of stories where we don’t to be interrupted, while reading. We all want these stories that will make us want to shirk our responsibilities. We all want those stories, where if we could go to a quiet island and just read. Mr. Rossis has brought one of those books, to the readers. And that is no small feat.

Nicholas C. Rossis has written several books, including “Rise of the Future” and “Year 18 The Schism Rise of the Prince”.

“Mad Water” is the third installment in the Pearseus series.

This is the link for the Amazon page. This is a book, that you really need to check out. I am sure that you will find this book, as riveting, as thrilling and as hard to put down, as the readers have.



An Incredible Vlog: Shanda Says

Earlier today, I was reading a great blog post on BlogHer written by my fellow BlogHer blogger, MrsTee.  She wrote a great post about the similarities of Blogging and Vlogging. She talked about how people think that the vlogging concept is completely different and the approach to development and promotion is different. But, she shared the similarities in each and how vlogging should be taken just as seriously as blogging. I have always been curious about vlogging and I wondered how it works, from the content to the promotion side of it.  I never knew how it worked before and I am so now that I know.

I’ve known about vlogs for a while now, based on a great vlog by Shanda Freeman. I love her vlog on Youtube. She mostly talks about Relationships, Love and Fashion. Of course, she talks about many different important issues. She used to have a vlog with her then husband. She now, has a great book out called, “A Pro-Man Woman”.  She has been vlogging for a few years and she has been successful.

One of the most fascinating things about vlogs, is that it’s basically a visual interpretation of a blog. It’s like instead of blogging and delivering your work in a post, you look into a camera and convey your thoughts, face to face with your viewers. Reading MrsTee’s post, got me to thinking. Which would you prefer? Vlog or Blog? Each one is challenging and each one, deserves the best from it’s creator. Each one needs individual and equal attention. And trust me, I love blogging. But, I think that vlogging is a little more challenging to me, than blogging. I mean, let’s face it. I’ve just started blogging. So, one step at a time.  But, I do admire the vloggers. I think that they have a serious voice and a lot of bravery to take to something as big as Youtube, because everybody watches Youtube and make their own work on it.

I have a Youtube channel, but I haven’t really gathered the nerve to do a video. But, maybe someday.

Vlogging is definitely a strong source that is growing. There are so many people on Youtube, with loyal viewers. I mean, really loyal viewers. And subscribers and thousands and millions of view. It’s really fascinating to see and I think that it’s great. I think that it’s great to see people, do big things right from there own rooms.

Have you ever thought about a Vlog? Have you ever thought about making a video for Youtube? Do you have a Youtube channel? If not, are you curious? If you are, think about what you want to do and be very careful and thoughtful of the direction that you want to take your work in. And the vision that you want to present. Youtube can be a great place to get started, but if you put the wrong message out there, it will stay forever. It is the Internet after all.


#Review “Struggles of the Women FolK” by T.M. Brown

“Struggles of the Women Folk” is a powerful book that shows the stories that our women have faced for some time. I am so proud of Ms. Brown for making the decision to write this book. Being kind of enough to share the stories that her grandmother shared with her.

The basis of this story is reminiscent of the conversations that grandmothers, aunts, and the girls of the families have been having for generations.

Georgie is the voice of Black girls and women. Her challenges, her dark days, her pain are the ones that we feel. They are the lashes that our hearts haven’t forgotten. They are worries that our minds still remember. See, what Georgie went through, is still relevant today. The troubles and struggles that we have, still searching for our spot in society. Still walking around and around the table, trying to find our seat.  Doing back-breaking work, just trying to make ends meet. Trying to find a way to support ourselves and our families. We’re still that odd duck, that walks into a library or a classroom, with the obvious question looming so strongly over the heads of many students, that you basically see the words written in the air. “What are they doing here? Can they read and write? I mean, Have you heard them talk? All they know how to do, is speak in slang!”

These conversations are still echoed in the whispers and conversations behind closed doors.  Yes, times are different. But, we’ve all got a long journey ahead.

We’ve all been that girl that walked into a room. Looking good and stylish. We’ve been the one that has turned heads for all kinds of reasons. Some, were impressed, others were jealous. We’ve all ran into that girl, that thought she was all that, and nobody could touch her. We’ve all been around that girl, who is the bad influence and we’ve all been around that girl has told us, “You’re just mad and you’re jealous. Because you ain’t got what I got and you can’t do what I do!” We all know what that’s like.

I say that, to say this. No matter where you come from in the world, we’ve all can share similar experiences. Whether you’re from Louisiana or Johannesburg. We all can relate on “Tales of the Sistahs”!

This book, stands alone. As do we. It stands boldly, representing us. In our many colors and facets. It represents the girl that is told her hair isn’t naturally curly, it’s just nappy! It represents the girl that is telling everybody that she’ll become a famous singer one day or run her own company. She’s instantly patronized with a, “That’s nice, baby!” This story, represents the girl that grew up on the south side of Chicago and went to Princeton. Where a white girl refused to be her roommate, because she was black. Now, that girl’s roommate is the President of the United States and she’s the First Lady!

See, this story is a like a stew of all of the flavors, that makes up our society. The pioneering women of our families are the ham hock, that strong meat that give us that flavor. That base, that you just can’t get anywhere else. Then, there’s the vegetables and the seasonings that all of our experiences collectively add to the mix. We bring a special blend of greatness to our world. And women like T.M. Brown, does an excellent job combining our stories for us. Thank you, Ms. Brown, for your motivation and your inspiration. Thank you, for going against the grain and speaking through Georgie, to us. Thank you, for the fearlessness that you have, to share our stories with the world.

We appreciate you and I am honored to honor you, on my blog!

Everyone, T.M. Brown’s “Struggles of the Women Folk” is available on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. Please check it out!