To Pursue or be Pursued? That my dear…is the question.

Everyone says that I am bold. That I speak my mind and that I am not afraid to be honest. Well, for me, that is very true. I am a person that has never been afraid to be upfront. I feel that people will always respect a person that is an open book. Nothing to hide, nothing to lie about. From time to time, I’ve been know to be a little too honest, but I am working on that now. Thank God!

Even when it comes to guys, I’ve been the same way. If I like someone, I’d tell them. And that was really stupid. I was putting myself in  vulnerable and potentially embarrassing situations.  And yes, I knew that’s what I was doing. And did it anyway. Dumb, right?

Yeah, I think so, too. To prove my point, I am going to share an experience with you.

There’s a guy that I’ve known for a very long time. He’s older than me and we come from different directions. But, we had a lot in common. Our families have known each other for generations and we haven’t been any different. I met his friends and now, they’ve become my friends.  And, I love these guys and girls. And I can admit, that I loved him. Too Much. Way Too Much! I would cook for him, buy him gifts and I gave him a lot more attention that I gave myself. Every time I saw, I was always so excited. I would go running to the door or the window, just to see him. And it was really pathetic. Because, I didn’t know that I was making a joke out of myself.  But, that’s exactly what was happening.

I just became stuck on stupid. No, actually I became stuck on ‘Absolutely Fool’! And I blame myself for that. I knew better. But, this guy really has great qualities. He has a giving heart and he will do whatever he can to help you. But, there are certain things about him that I can’t put up with. When a person talks to you all kinds of ways and hurts your feelings, would you continue to put with that? Well, I did. I tolerated stuff that I know that I didn’t like. just in hopes that he would change his mind about me and look at me like a Young Lady turning into a Young Woman, instead of a little sister or whatever he told me.

I wanted him to like me so bad, that I thought cooking and giving gifts would help that along. But, all it seem to do was drive him further away. I was pursuing and he was running. Well, he outran me and I couldn’t keep up. However,  The Women that he was interested and evidently seeing, could keep up with him. And all I was, the laughing stalk. I could basically hear it, through the air. And I felt like crap. Because I was the young girl and they were grown people. So, to being with I was in, way over my head. But, I was just so hard-headed, that I just had to get what I want. Or in this case, who I wanted.

Now, fast forward five years, things have changed. Dramatically. Now, the crush is gone!!! And, I don’t feel anything anymore. But now, he’s notice the change and he’s acting differently. Suddenly, he’s interested. Well, too late! He could have been on the same page with me before, but not now. I am one of those people that is going to take just anything that she can get. After going through this experience, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I have given up a lot of my own happiness and time for everyone else’s. How is that fair to them or to me? It’s not. They are getting more from and of me, than I was. That’s not right. Now, I’ve seen other guys that I find attractive, but’s after I’ve been pursued by them. And trust me, it feels so much better to be pursued than to be the chaser. When you’re a woman chasing, it can come across as desperate. Especially, when you’re chasing like I was.

It’s nice to be attractive to someone and it’s nice to have them want you, for a change. It’s nice to be the person that is in the center. Not the one standing around, hoping and crossing your fingers that you’ll get chosen. It’s just not worth it. It’s nice that you walk in their company, they are happy to see you. They are pleased to see you and they want to see you. That’s nice and it means a lot to me.  But, that’s not all. They are smart, intelligent and great people. With great personalities. They have so many great things about them. And I must say, that I really enjoy being around them.

It feels good to say that the crush is over. But, it feels even better that I mean it. I just wishing it away, but it’s actually gone! And It feels freeing. So, I am very excited about the prospects and the opportunities.

Now, I am learning how to appreciate myself and give myself time and the love that I deserve. I am my own woman. And in given time, I will be someone else’s, too. But, until then, I am just going to enjoy my life and growing into who I want to be.

 

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Open Talk: Confessions

You know, I am a strong believer that keeping your communication lines open. Whether it’s between Parents and their kids and between people in their relationships. It is important to be able to talk to people that you trust, freely and without fear of being judge.

I enjoy having open and honest communication with people that I trust. It is so important to me, to be able to talk with my Mom and friends when I need to. If there is something that is burdening me, I want to know that I’ve got people to turn to and share those burdens and concerns.

I am a very honest and open person. Sometimes, I am far too honest. But, that’s something that I am Honestly working on. But, my Mom is a very private person. And yesterday, I asked her a tough question and I was incredibly nervous about asking it. And she didn’t answer it. So, I left it alone. And I truly forgot about it.

Today, she felt comfortable enough with me to be open about some difficult challenges that she has faced. And I am so incredibly proud of her. I am proud of her for sharing some of her background and history with me. I know for a fact, that wasn’t easy for her. But, I can’t tell you how proud I am of her. To me, she is one the most amazing and incredible people in the world to me. She inspires me and motivates me to be better, smarted, wiser and to work harder. I’ve always wanted to be smart and intelligent like her. She has always been a person that encouraged me to believe in myself and she has never told me that anything that I wanted to do, was out of my reach. She’s never told me that I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. If I wanted to be a Doctor, a Teacher or being a blogger, she’s always been on board.

As a matter of fact, it was her idea that I should start a blog. So, she is one of the main reasons why I am here.

Sometimes, it’s just good to share things and get them off your chest. Just get them out of your system and let it go. I am glad that she is feeling more comfortable to share things with me. It makes me so humble that she see fit to confide in me. It’s a great honor. And I am so happy about it.

Confessions can be good for the soul. And even you have someone to talk to, You can always talk to Jesus. He’s always listening. Some people may have call waiting and others, you might have to tweet or inbox. But, the Lord doesn’t need technical device. All he needs, for you to pray and ask. And he will be right there for you.

Praise God, Amen for that!!! 🙂

Happy Easter Everyone!

Hello Everyone and Happy Easter Day!

I just wanted to wish all of you a very special Easter and I hope that all of you are enjoying your Easter.

This is always a Special day and the meaning, is one that should never be forgotten. It is so important that we remember the incredible sacrifice that the Lord made for us. He made the Greatest Sacrifice so that we wouldn’t have to suffer. It is not his intention for us to suffer. He wants to be happy and healthy. And that’s why with his stripes, we are healed.

On Friday, I blogged about Good Friday and the program that Mom and I went to. Well, I’m not sure if I mentioned that it was also the anniversary of My Mother’s calling. Many years ago, My Mother was asked to speak for a Last Seven Words Program. Her assigned words was, “This Day, You shall be with me in Paradise”. Well that night, she received her calling to preach.

Friday, I was supposed to go out of town to run an errand for Mom. But, I thought that they might have been closed and I didn’t want to travel that far and then, have to turn around and come right back. So, I decided to meet my Mom at church and celebrate her anniversary with her. And I’m really glad that I changed my mind. It was really nice and she was happy that I was there.

So, it all worked out for the best.

But, I just wanted to let you all know, that I love you and I wish you all a blessed and Happy Easter day. I hope that you’re experiencing good weather, great Easter services and great family fun. And great food, never hurt nobody. That’s exactly what I am doing now. Cooking dinner for my Mom and I. And I will share what I made soon.

Meanwhile, have a great day and always remember the reason for the season. Never forget. Always thank him. Not just today, not just around Easter time, but every single day. Because he didn’t have to do it, just he doesn’t have to do anything for us. But, he does! And we should never forget that!

God Bless and Happy Easter!

Amazing Blogs to Read

How many of you love surfing the net to find new blogs that you may not have heard of? Maybe there’s a blog that you about through the grapevine and goggled it, to check it out?

Well, I know for a fact that I absolutely love to look for new blogs. Many days, I’ll just sit down and look for blogs and as we all know, there are thousands to choose from. New blogs are arriving everyday and all it takes it the right motivation to turn that blog from an unknown to one of the most sought after blogs in the blogosphere.

So, a while ago, I found some great blogs on http://www.luckymag.com and I just had to check them out. And since I did and love them, I wanted to share then with you. And if you’ve  got time,  i think that you’ll really enjoy them. And please make sure that you drop by the “About Me” pages on their blogs and you’ll discover the reasons behind their passions and their blogs.

 

Bianca from Avant Blargh Created by Avant Blargh

http://www.avantblargh.blogspot.com

 

Stop it Right Now  Created by Jayne

http://www.stopitrightnow.com

 

Honey and Silk  Created by  Stephanie Liu

http://www.honeynsilk.com

 

The Global Girl     Created by NDOEMA

http://www.theglobalgirl.com

 

Margie Plus  Created by Margie

http://www.margieplus.com

 

Glisters and Blisters         Created by Michelle

http://www.glistersandblisters.com

 

Fated to be Hated         Created by Bebe Zeva

http://www.ftbh.blogspot.com

 

Couture Lust              Created by  Suad Eissa

http://www.couturelust.tumblr.com

 

The Fabric Snob          Created by  Apneet Kaur

http://www.refinery29.com/mystylist/apneet-kaur

 

Love Aesthetics            Created by Ivania Carpio

http://www.love-aesthetics.blogspot.com

 

These are some great blogs and I just had to share them with you. I hope that if you’re not too busy, that you’ll check them out. And share them, if you feel the same way about them!

 

Easter Weekend

As we all know, Today marks the first of the Three days of Easter.

Today, Mom and I went to my Aunt’s Church today for service.  It was their annual Good Friday program, called ‘The Last Seven Words of Jesus Christ’.

I’m  not sure if many people are familiar with this type of program, so I’ll explain it.

Seven different Preachers are asked to speak at the church and each Preacher is given a Word to preach about. So, everyone was really happy to be a part of it.

Mom wanted to go to the service and she worked all night last night. But, she was able to go and I wanted to join her. So I went. And it was great! Every Preacher did a Great job and they all had a fantastic time.

It was great to go back to the service for the first time in years and I am really happy that Mom got to enjoy it. This time of year, is such an important time, in so many ways. The most important of those, being God sacrificing his Son, for us. To save us. Jesus was sent to save the World and everyone in it. And the sacrifice that Jesus made, can’t be placed into words.

We are so lucky that the Lord loves us and that he was willing to sacrifice his life, to pay for our sin an iniquities. So, no matter whether you’re going to church or not, take some time out and pray. Pray and Thank God for his Son and thank Jesus for his huge sacrifice. Thank him for everything that he’s done for you. Always pray and Thank him for everything.

Happy Easter everybody!

Thank God, Progress!

Well, fortunately today, the job hunt went better than it has in the past. Everybody was friendly and I was able to see some good opportunities for myself. I was able to apply to more places locally and all with good hours. I am incredibly happy about that.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have been job hunting for some time now. And I was more active In the job hunt, but my Grandmother’s health was the number 1 priority and I am really happy that I was able to be there for her, when she needed me.

Now, that she’s resting and she’s happy and not sick anymore, I have now got to refocus on my job search and try to get more active in my work. But, fortunately, that won’t stop me from writing and blogging. I definitely could not have a job that kept from talking with you and blogging. I have just developed such passion for blogging. And when I am not blogging, I am reading other blogs or looking ways on to become a better blogger. So, I am definitely passionate about keeping up with it.’

Overall, today has been a good day and I am happy with the progress that I’ve made. I am hopeful that things will turn around for me and that I will one day, in the near future, be writing a blog post about how I got a job! I’ll keep you posted!

Working on Work

After a long, long, search, I am finally (hopefully) getting employed! It has been a long time coming and I have been searching for work in so many different sectors. I have gone to school to build myself an educational resume that would be great enough to open up more opportunities for myself. All I wanted, was the opportunity to show myself and get myself a great job.

For over a year, Mom and I were taking care of my Grandmother and I was going to business school online. I was trying to find work the entire time and I couldn’t find anything. And it was far more difficult to find work, considering the fact that I was looking for work within a certain criteria. I was looking for a day job, working the 9 to 5 shift. I needed to be home in the morning when Mom got home from working and I needed to be home before she got up to back to work that night.

I was wondering and frustrated. And trust me, those are two terrible feelings. I hated it. I wrote up my resumes, including information about myself. I would pray and ask God for guidance and I still do. I was just hoping that something good would turn up for me. Having school bills and working on a college degree, while unemployed in today’s world, is much harder than it used to be. Because, expenses add up. So, everybody that is or has been unemployed, can definitely relate.

After I lost my Grandmother three months ago, I had to look at my resume and see what I needed to change. On each one, I wrote about the situation that my family was in and why I needed a job within my special criteria. But, I took another look at it and I was trying to figure out how to construct my resume now. I just didn’t how to re-construct my work, because it was hard. It meant that if I re-wrote my resume and took out my reasons, that it meant it was real. It meant that Grandma wasn’t here anymore and that is taking some time to adjust to. But, on Monday, I visited my family doctor. Whom has been a family friend for many years. He and I had a great chat and he told me a lot of things to help me get a job. He gave me some advice and told me to add in my reasons to my resume.

It felt so good, knowing that I was doing it the right way. It felt good, knowing that I can put it back in. So, that’s what I’m doing. In the meantime, I am working as a Tutor online and I am incredibly excited. I certainly hopeful that I make a difference in someone’s life. I hope that I can help someone realize their real potential, grow and develop their minds in new and exciting ways.

I will be letting you know how it goes, as things progress.