Being single has never bothered me before. I have always been happy to be by myself. It gave me time to do what I wanted, which was study and dream about what I become someday. I have always been an incredibly ambitious person and I was really able to nurture that and figure out things that helps me to develop into what I want to be. It has been fun and it still is. But, for some reason, being single bothers me a little now.
I don’t know what happened. See, I’m Twenty Five and I’ve never been on a date before! I ‘ve never even been asked out. So, I guess that answers my own question now, doesn’t it? But until recently, it didn’t bother me. I’d see couples and I’d think, ‘Awww! They’re happy!’ Or ‘They’re a nice looking couple!’ Especially if it were older couples, they are just some of the cutest couples there is. And I am in no way a romantic. My Mom’s a romantic and so were my Grandparents. But, I missed that gene. But, wanting to have a boyfriend, wasn’t top of my list.
Now, here I am. In here, cleaning, blogging, thinking about all of the things that I need to do, including my hair. Planning on what I need to do tonight, study for my next exam. And suddenly, I’m watching Youtube. I’m listening to all different types of music, I am watching movie scenes and looking on Facebook. I see a lot of people that I know on there, in relationships. Or they are single and having fun. But, not me.
Now, I know that I need to give myself time. I just lost my grandmother about three weeks ago, I don’t want to cling onto someone, trying to ease some kind feeling that I’m having. I don’t want to attempt to fill voids with a person that could only be temporary. So, that’s why I’ve decided to blog. If I can’t do anything about this right now, the least I can do, is get it off me.
I know that relationships are far, far from easy. I am not looking a relationship to be easy. But, I’m not looking for unnecessary drama, either. Or any kind of drama, for that matter. I am hopeful that the right guy will come along. I am not the thinnest girl in the world, nor am I the prettiest. I am just a simple black girl that loves to read and cook and help others. I am hopeful that I will find my good match. I am not looking for perfect, because I am not perfect. But, when I do find the right guy, I want to have an instinct. And instinct that tells me, he’s the one. That lets me know, that I am not wasting my time. That I am not, making a huge mistake. I am hoping. I am praying.
And I know God hears me.