Why does being Single bother me?

Being single has never bothered me before. I have always been happy to be by myself. It gave me time to do what I wanted, which was study and dream about what I become someday. I have always been an incredibly ambitious person and I was really able to nurture that and figure out things that helps me to develop into what I want to be. It has been fun and it still is. But, for some reason, being single bothers me a little now.

I don’t know what happened. See, I’m Twenty Five and I’ve never been on a date before! I ‘ve never even been asked out. So, I guess that answers my own question now, doesn’t it? But until recently, it didn’t bother me. I’d see couples and I’d think, ‘Awww! They’re happy!’ Or ‘They’re a nice looking couple!’ Especially if it were older couples, they are just some of the cutest couples there is. And I am in no way a romantic. My Mom’s a romantic and so were my Grandparents. But, I missed that gene. But, wanting to have a boyfriend, wasn’t top of my list.

Now, here I am. In here, cleaning, blogging, thinking about all of the things that I need to do, including my hair. Planning on what I need to do tonight, study for my next exam. And suddenly, I’m watching Youtube. I’m listening to all different types of music, I am watching movie scenes and looking on Facebook. I see a lot of people that I know on there, in relationships. Or they are single and having fun. But, not me.

Now, I know that I need to give myself time. I just lost my grandmother about three weeks ago, I don’t want to cling onto someone, trying to ease some kind feeling that I’m having. I don’t want to attempt to fill voids with a person that could only be temporary. So, that’s why I’ve decided to blog. If I can’t do anything about this right now, the least I can do, is get it off me.

I know that relationships are far, far from easy. I am not looking a relationship to be easy. But, I’m not looking for unnecessary drama, either. Or any kind of drama, for that matter. I am hopeful that the right guy will come along. I am not the thinnest girl in the world, nor am I the prettiest. I am just a simple black girl that loves to read and cook and help others. I am hopeful that I will find my good match. I am not looking for perfect, because I am not perfect. But, when I do find the right guy, I want to have an instinct. And instinct that tells me, he’s the one. That lets me know, that I am not wasting my time. That I am not, making a huge mistake. I am hoping. I am praying.

And I know God hears me.

A Young Woman, A New Business

As a blogger and a young woman with ambition, it is kind of frustrating to be unemployed. And no, I don’t blame Washington for it. To me, it’s not Washington’s responsibility to hire people. Washington is not the running businesses and in charge of the day to day operations of companies. Those are the responsibilities of the CEOs and Managers. Washington is not flying down to look over resumes and pick whom they think would most suitable for the job. It is not Washington’s responsibility to fix it. It is the job of those that works in the offices everyday to know what they need in employees and for them to hire the most suitable candidates.

Now, honestly one of the reasons why many qualified folks aren’t getting hired, is because of “Favortism” Those people that know someone who is looking for a job, but are not capable of doing it. They are the ones that did a favor for the manager or is a friend of a friend and they have no clue on how to carry themselves, let alone work for a company.  What people that do this don’t realize, is they are compromising the integrity of their company. Let’s say you have a boutique and you hire someone based on the fact that you know them. And you need a person to run the cash register. Typically for that job, you need someone courteous, prompt, neat and good at math. You need someone that can do this job well, because chances are, this is the first person that your customers will see. So, that person needs to be able to make a good first impression, so that people will feel comfortable shopping with you.

But, if that person can’t count, don’t like to dress well, hates fashion and is hateful, hiring them is a horrible idea! You can’t risk your business for this person, hinged on the fact that you know them. But, unfortunately people are more willing to put their friends above good decisions. Well, this is something that has been going since the beginning of time. This is something that many qualified employees are dealing with. Something that people that has the education and tenacity, people with drive and determination are facing.

Termination, before even getting the job. This is a frustration that I have been facing for some time now and it’s indeed hard to explain it to some people. Some people say that I am picky. Some people say that I must be comfortable with being unemployed or that I just don’t want to work. But, that could not be a bigger lie!

I want to work and I am excited about joining the workforce. But, all the while we were taking care of Grandmother, I would be getting out looking for work. Locally and out of town. I would be trying my best to do what I could to be employed. Unfortunately, to no avail. And I began thinking. Here I am looking for a job, driving around from one place to another and not getting hired. Not to mention, I burning gas in this car and not getting hired so that I can get paid to replace it! These are moments when you sit in your car and you’re praying. You’re not just praying, you’re talking to God. You talking to him like a passenger in your car. And he is there with you, so he is your passenger. But, how frustrated you get, from time to time, you need him to be your driver as well.

I have not had a job before and trust me, I am seriously crazy far from having an abundance of money or anything. When I was a teenager, I didn’t have my driver’s license. I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 23! So, working at a fast food joint then, was out of the question. Sometimes, they want you to work late nights and my Mom worked the twelve hour shift. From 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. So, my Mom and Grandparents didn’t feel comfortable with me walking home, alone and in the dark that late at night. And my Grandparents didn’t drive nor did they ever have a driver’s license. Either of them.  So, that wouldn’t work. And when it was time for me to go to college and I was going to work, My Grandmother got ill and she couldn’t be left alone. So, I decided to get enrolled in an online school and study there. And I loved it. Still do. In the recent couple of years, I have been looking for a job, hard. And nothing has turned up. The last time Grandma was in the hospital, I came home (because each time she was in the hospital, Mom and I stayed with her day and night. We never slept at home), and I printed up a little resume, (basically my educational background, ambitions and my current status of taking care of my Grandmother) and I pounded the pavement. I got out and I walked. I walked and walked. I went to so many places looking for work and as usual, I got the same things said to me. “I’m sorry, we’re not hiring.” Oh,  I’m sorry. We just filled our last position.” Or my personal favorite, “I don’t know if we’re hiring. Log onto our website and see if there are any positions open!” I got that last so many times, I should’ve gotten it printed on a T-Shirt! It got really old. Emphasis on ‘Old’. But, I just kept at it. And the funny thing is, sometimes when I went looking for a job, I didn’t even get a sorry. All I got was, the last line. ‘Look Online! Look Online!’

I was wondering, ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ But, can I share with you my favorite part of it all? Please? Okay.

My favorite part of it all is, when you go to a place that you frequently visit, (i.e. The grocery store or local office) and they say we’re not hiring right now. But, every time you go in there throughout the course of a month or so, all you see is new people! And I am thinking to myself, Am I missing something here? You’re not hiring, right? Then, where did all of these new people come from? That was so frustrating at first and now, it’s just funny. It is! It makes me laugh. Because you know if you go to a store and you go there pretty much all the time, you’re going to notice some new people. Now, let’s face it. Nobody’s that dense. You are going to notice if somebody’s new there. Or how about if you work at a place and there’s people working right next to you. Maybe a desk or something. And you now that they weren’t there a week ago. Heck, they weren’t even there yesterday. But, they are here today. Something should trigger in your mind and say, ‘Yes, we’re hiring!” At least we ought to be, Because, this girl wasn’t here yesterday!

Okay, well, maybe you can’t say that last part, but you can think it.

So, that’s why I’ve decided to bite down on the bullet and work for myself. I have decided to become self-employed and pray to God that I can succeed. And there are so many people that are in the same boat. So many people have left paying jobs, to work online. It’s amazing to me, but that’s the way it is.

I was scared of being self-employed. But now, I am comfortable with it. I am now eagerly looking forward to the challenge of working for myself and developing my own business. It is daunting and thrilling at the same time. But, I know that God has me on this path for a reason. So, I will be obedient and listen.

Hey, who knows where this could lead? But, I’ll tell you one thing. I am far to excited about my work , my future and my life to turn back now!

Hello!

Hello Everyone!

I am Velvet and I would like to welcome you to my blog, The V Mirror!

This blog is such an exciting new venture for me and I am truly excited about sharing it with you.

For me, blogging is such a special honor and treat. It is a source of empowerment and motivation. I find blogs, to be among some of my favorite things on earth. But, when I first found out about blogging, I really intimidated. Let me tell you why.

Since Ree Drummond’s cooking show came on, my household has been avid Ree Drummond fans! We absolutely love her! But, I didn’t know that she got her start through a blog. So, when my Mom told me about it, I remember thinking, ‘Wow! What a pressured world that must be!’ When I found out what a blog is, I could only imagine pressure and stress. Thinking that must be one of the most difficult things in the world to do. Creating content and managing your own website, must be one of scariest and most daunting tasks in the world. All I knew, was that was something that I’d never be able to pull off. There was no way that I was equipped to handle it. But, Mom thought differently.

So later, Mom mentioned to me that I should consider starting a blog. And the only thing that I thought was, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’ ‘I can’t do that!’ But, one thing about my household. The words “Can’t” and “Never” are like curse words here. You just simply cannot get away with that here! So, she told me just think about it. You never know where it could lead. So, I said that I’d think about it. And think about it, I did. All the Time! I thought about ways to blog and how to get a blog started. But, the most troubling question that I had was, “What in the world do I blog about?” I am a simple homeschooled student, raised by a single mother and grandparents. I am an only child and I don’t go many places at all. Unless I am reading book. Then, my imagination can take me wherever it desires. But, as for having an active social life, I didn’t. To which, let’s face it, is rare for a young person in today’s world.

I didn’t have many friends at all and only a small handful of them were homeschooled. Mostly everyone I knew, attended public or private school. Years ago, I would help my Mother and Grandmother take care of my Grandfather. He was in a wheelchair, but he was very independent. And he could really do a lot for himself. And many years later, I helped my Mom take care of my Grandmother. We lost my Grandmother a few weeks ago and my Grandfather, twelve years ago. Before my Grandmother passed, I started blogging. But, I still didn’t think that I had much to blog about. I didn’t have the traditional upbringing, in the since of what many kids were doing. While some of my peers were riding bikes, I was cooking dinner. While some of my peers were playing basketball, I was doing laundry. While some of peers were jumping rope, I was helping my Grandfather with his exercises. So, I have always been a young person that had to be mature.

I was telling so much of this to Mom and she said, Blog about that! Blog about what you know. You’d be surprise at how many people may be going through the same thing or might be interested in your story. So, with that, I decided to start a blog. I blogged and I blogged. I started blogs and before I knew, I was hooked. A little too hooked. I started one blog, that main one that I still have, with BlogHer. And then after that, I started about seven more! Yes, that’s right. Count ’em! Seven! Nuts, right? Well, I had to almost get burned out, before I decided that I needed to shut them down and focus on just BlogHer. Now, I am working more on that blog and I decided to re-start and begin again. But, this time, with only one blog. And that’s where The V Mirror comes in.

As I’ve written above on the left corner, A blog, is a reflection of one’s self. I have believed that since I started blogging. For me, blogging has shown me a lot about myself and what I want in life. It showed me my procrastination, it showed me my determination.  I have become more dedicated to creating a blog that I will love and I will be proud of.

I am so incredibly proud to be a blogger and I hope that new bloggers don’t take the gift of blogging for granted. It is a lot of hard work and it takes a lot of discipline. Being a blogger, is a big responsibility.  You are responsible for the content that you make and for the message that you send. You are in charge of what you want your blog to say and how you what to say it. It is your voice. Don’t take the power of that voice, lightly. Don’t take that voice for granted. I always say, No one has your voice. No one can bring, what you can bring. Even if someone else, appears more equipped and seems to be more ready, that doesn’t mean that they can do what you can do. So, don’t be afraid to step out and do something different. Don’t be afraid to push the envelope and do something that you think is completely out of your wheelhouse.

Take it from me. it might not be as far away from your skill set as you might think it is!